transitions.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

i just finished watching 51 episodes of anime in a day.
no no not my point.

i think watching them makes me think more than usual.
i remembered someone told me that dreaming too much is not too good.

" a dream that you can achieved is not a dream".

thats why i'll keep on dreaming.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

i just shifted my tagboard back to there, since there are people in indodvc who knows my tagboard. man, its creepy how news can spread so fast. this week was so busy. anthro exam, physics exam, essays and more essays. i just finished my 2000 word essay, and i really have to thank shona for PERFECTING ( correcting ) my english. cant blame myself for having such low standard of english. haha, besides i dont speak ENGLISH at home! so thats the good reason. thats why i said, people like me does not exist in art steam nor in science stream. where the hell do i belong to?

man. im really tired. i hate school now, after that busac test, everything just spoil my mood. the moment i think of going to school tomorrow for busac, i just want to puke. im so afraid of learning new things so afraid that ill do badly in all my tests. the actions of a loser whereby he runs away from everything. now i understand how hard is it for people to just keep himself from falling again and again. chinese exam later, too lazy to study. i think i will do well, but i doubt ill get fullmarks since i stil can get some answers wrong. i just hope that this semester ends soon, but chinese class is the most fun class of all classes. cause its like you are paying there to learn primary one kid stuff. i dont have many friends there, like only 3 girls. how pathetic. i dont even socialize there, i just go there and do my stuff. pretty girls like ashley and kristine are way too high class ( or rather outta the league ). they are so ABC ( yes they are ) and they are so pretty and perhaps too high class. man when they walk past me, they leave a scent in the air. but oh well, i cant be bothered with the abcs. i wonder outta billions of people, there are only 1 that is destined to be with you, and now this destined person might not even appear. and i wonder what she is doing ( i hope its not a HE, or ill commit suicide ) now.

i really wonder all this things. like what is it like 15 years ago when i was 2 years old, how was my house like, how was my surrounding like. i wonder what is the destined person is doing now. where is she, how does she look like. how will my son and daughter look like. it just makes me wonder. if god gave me a chance to take a peep, i wouldnt want to. im so afraid that ill dislike that destined person cause of her looks. hoho im superficial. nvm, why am i talking about such things when i have an exam in 15 minutes. man hopeless me.

i just hope that this semester goes well. and that my essay will get an A, thanks shona for forking out your precious time to edit my essay.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

man. relax people. why is EVERYONE STUDYING, or am i the only one not studying. man, i dont what has gotten into me. but it is like, i lost all mood for studying. like totally. i even DARED to sleep and not read my anthropology. fuck, seriously i think something really bad and nasty is coming my way. life is in a mess, and i dont have any resolution for now or any intention to fix it. of course, i wont get screwed up that badly. but i just spent my whole day today doing nothing when i can finish so many other homework. tomorrow when the results are posted, im gonna cry big time. well well.

lust not love. hoho. hail to the pretty japanese girls. kimochiii!

Monday, October 24, 2005

i just finished watching GTO anime. 43 version in 2 and a half days, i think thats a little overboard. the worst thing is that, there is exam tomorrow. and i havent even studied for it yet. how about that man.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

went drinking 2 nights back. but i was just a little, so i dint get drunk. of course, being in jeffry's house means that im " sinning ". haha, nvm i shant elaborate further. i realized jeffry is quite a nice person to chill out with. because his house is big and spacious, ( his living room ) and that night we listened to jazz. i guess everyone is worried for their exams, i just hope that i can score an A in a busac for the next 2 test. no doubt i will. ill study hard enough to make sure i can get that grade.

ate at bennihana yesterday night with friends and beca's friends. it just plain fun. how i wished i was a child prodigy, and i could just stop studying. how nice would it be if i could just enjoy life. but too bad i have too much responsibilities and duties, so i guess its not the time yet. i almost had the mentality that if i fail my exams, it would be ok. take everything naturally. maybe like halim, survive by copying. but i realized that im not him, he has like maybe million dollars of assets and hectares of villa waiting for him while i have none, and instead i have to build my own home. i was watching gto, sometimes i wished school was like that. remind me of the old days in maris stella. that feeling is just so familiar, wearing white head to toe, walking around in the cemented floor. eating those canteen food with cashcard. 1 year ago, i would be like so busy studying for O's. one year later and an exam tomorrow, im not doing a single thing. wellwell.

Friday, October 21, 2005

fuck. how screwed up can it be. a fucking C on my test, when i studied so hard for it. fucking hell. i feel like a total idiot now.

i got the lowest among everyone. now i feel like a total disgrace. the feeling of studying so hard and screwing it up, and when having a cumalative gpa of only so little, the feeling is lik ebeing fuck. if i had known that such results were coming out, i wouldnt have studied for it. i was expecting at least an 80, yet the results were so disappointing. so so disappointing. it wasn't hard like what i said, but i had so many careless mistakes. fucking hell. the only thing i can think of now is to find a whore and start fucking her.

i feel so guilty towards my mum now because of this test. fuck. or its bceause i have been cursing god and god is punishing me for what i said. if god cant take criticism from me, then hes not worth looking up to. but once again, if he can be the god of billion of people, then he should be able to take my criticism. but in any case, fuck it.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

man. im just so pissed. i cant believe i screw up my busac. to think that i could get above 90 points. it was like the most stupidest mistake, i even went through the question like thrice, or at least twice. and i still could get it wrong. man, this must be a joke. im so pissed not because i dont know how to do the question, its because i know and i could still forget how to do, rather do it the wrong way. man, just feel like a total moron. so many exams coming up, and so little pastpapers. its so fucking idiotic. damn.

i woke up like at 4 am just to study. studied for the whole damn day, basic stuff still could get wrong. able to do complex questions, yet i dont know how to do simple questions. now i wished the teacher had harder questions. so at least i wouldnt feel so bad getting a lousy grade. man, i bet ill get a B- or at least a C. i feel so fucked man. i think being in a depression is somewhat better. rather then you feel happy and drop dead the next second. was cursing and swearing at business accounting when i was walking home with jeffry.

i wonder why isnt there anything good happening to me lately, perhaps i was cursing and scolding god too much about his role on our life. even when i was walking home, i was talking to jeffry about god. and of course, needless to say about the people around us and their beliefs in god. crap man. i feel so crapped out, and there is nothing that i can do even at home. i feel like giving up studying, and submitting fate to god. which means, that would be the end of me if that happens.

i ever told someone, that if you put your fate with god and let him controls it, what if something bad happens. the old lady in pink, i dont know what she has done to even receive such treatment. lady in 70's pushing a cart in the cold. and why is that happening. god wants the best for everyone, what if god made you poor and because of that the people around you have to suffer because you were unable to support them and give them anything. and yes, they could happen to anyone of you of course, and by then ill see what you have to thank for to god. christians and catholics spreading fairytale. nvm. there are too many things to complain about god. one day ill get shoot for being so anti-christ ( which im not ). but well, if people want to judge me that way, so be it. fuck it, im just too pissed for anything.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

today was such a long day. and i had so little sleep. the day before was clara's birthday, yesterday was ken's birthday and today is lindsay birthday. slept at half past 4 yesterday, jeffry and tyo came over to my house to take the humanities notes. man luckily, the humanities exam was a breeze. got back my physics quiz too. not bad for someone who didnt use pp and didnt study, it was good.

anyhow i went to sf today. sf is so so so cold. went to the embassy today to collect the passport. and i just realized that dwi that idiot wrote the wrong address for me. so the address on my passport does not exist, oh well. met clara, bunga, tia tomo and andreas. haha, man those people really made a joke out of me. i cant read indo language so well, they made me read those long long sentences. especially imei, who has been punching my hand and making me speak indo language. it is just so weird, to speak indo. but i guess one day eventually i will get use to the culture. so i guess its just a practice.

went to eat at borobudur, met leon there too. leon is one of the funny guy that i met, geeky, tech saavy, skinny and branded from head to toe. haha, those people that i love to mix with. the geeky people. imei went to meet her relatives while halim, tyo and i went walking to japan town. haha. the adult shop video was great man. so many porn, haha but too bad i cant get it till next year. hahaha, uber cool.. eat crepes too, went home afterwards. dropped by frys to buy some stuff.

so happy today that abercrombie and fitch came today. man, those bloody shirts sure cost a bomb, and im gonna buy a few more. since i cant get it anyway in asia, i might as well just get it here. shall be nice and get one for my brother too. he better thank me for it, speaking of that, the money in the bank account is depleting like some watertank with a small hole at the bottom. the shirts that i bought were rather tight/muscle fitting. its nice, but too bad it looked kinda weird on me, though they said is nice. well.

im too sleepy for now more to blog, but i shall sleep. well.

oh ya, i forgot to mention that we went to see the lexus new is350. 0-60mph, is like 5.4 seconds. man thats like the speed of light man. freak. i was also like promoting the car to this angmoh as if i was the sales man. haha but too bad, there is no wy my dad will get me a lexus 350. its too pricey for a japanese brand.

shall sleep. nites!

Friday, October 14, 2005

i FINALLY found it. the chage & aska song. too delighted to even blog. hahahaha!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

this is my 170th post. maybe one day ill print all of them just in case blogger crash.

this and next week is the midterm week. jc finished their promos, and its my turn.
lots of dumb story to tell though, not story about life of course. im not zihui.
haha, so its like this.

story:1

physics class, man its really darn screwed up. why? that day we had a quiz and as usual we prepared ourself with past papers. mr simkins had to change the paper to the new one, fuck man. so its like, we ended up having no past papers, thats so shitty. to make it worse, you know what he did. he made 2 copies. 1 copy for the morning session, and 1 copy for the afternoon session. so its like we asked the morning sesion people for the answers, and to my surprise, the paper changed for the afternoon session. BUT, the quiz was still doable. so, i guess its a consolation. after the quiz, half the class left. it was so so so embarrassing. the class is divided into 2 part, the right and the left side, with the center as the walkway. the left side, ( which include all the indonesian ) went home. and i meant the whole of left side. man, i was the last to leave, so he was like telling the class something like , "you get paid what you deserve". darn, i think im blacklisted. and i feel so guilty for doing that. i guess i just sympatheize him.

story2:

as you know, mid terms are here, and im still addicted to nfsu. ( thats a game ). but luckily god was wise enough to give me a pathetic graphic card and ram, so that when i play the game, ill get pissed off easily for the kind of graphic it was producing.

story3:
so this is story number3, nothing much, but just that i was pissed that i got an 80 for my lab report. bloody santa clause teacher. whats wrong with those angmohs man.

nothing much, i wanted tob log, buti guess ill just keep the other part of the story with me in _________.

since tyo liked blank spaces, like zihui does. i thought maybe i should start putting blank spaces too.

P/s: andre, if you are reading this, thats good. please treat your friends nicely, especially mok. 4 years of friendship .. me and you. you and him. i thought you were the one who told me about treasuring friends, what happened to you man. got bewitched in SA, or have you woke up and forgot about what you said. promos over, go have fun man. its my turn to study. damn.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

slept 3 hours, almost skipped school but i chose to skip 2 outta 4 classes to compensate my sleep.

well, went down to sf yesterday. went to the indonesian embassy with my friends, sorta like report your own status in america, so that next time we could be exempted from rent. so we left northridge at 1.30, reach there at like 2.30. and me and halim didnt have any photos at all, i mean i dint know we needed photos for the application form, so me and halim ended up running around looking for walgreens to take pictures. so, what is the worst thing that happened. it was 3 blocks to our left, and some buggers told us to go here, and go there, and go here, and go there, and in the end, we ran more than 10 blocks. ass.

when i was running, i could feel myself so much heavier, and the old days in singapore where mr koh would make so much noise asking us to run. run and run, and i would just grumble. napfa test, 2,4 etc. now in the states, i hardly even move my legs. tyo was filling in the form for me, so i just gave him the photos, and he gave to the office, i hope everything went well, or else man im gonna be so screwed.

we saw the blue angels. man, they are so so so awesome. they are a group of air acrobatic perfomers. part of the us navy. haha, shit. the way they do the vertical tilt was like so awesome. imagine, you go so fast, even faster than the speed os sound. i saw this " sonic boom ", where the plane broke the sound barrier and the air around it kinda like spin and compressed. the sound of the plane was just so amazing. superb i say.

send dwi home, ate at bangkok cusine. watched movie, and slept. ( im too lazy to elaborate here). but im starting to love sf. haha.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

man. i still feel sick. aaah, how many days of school have i missed.

its been quite a long time ever since i was sick. man, where are the TLC. how wished mum was there, and doctors are nearby. its so hard to find doctors in america, ( at least i dont know where are they ).im so scared that i'll die of common cold / flu. cause its one of the most stupidest way to die man.

i skipped school again. it seems that medicine are not useful in curing me. ill just have to hope that ill get well by myself.

my lavalamp is here, but it looks kinda crappy since its only $5. blue water with yellow bubbles, it. man, it looks more like my phlegm. hahahaha. crap.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Dear Diary,

__________________________________ . ________. _____________________,____________.______________________.
________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________. is this it?

.Signed

Sunday, October 02, 2005

im glad that nearly all my stuff have reached, just 2 more items to go and my online shopping spree is done. haha.i fell sick yesterday and i miss mum's porridge. i remembered when i was sick she would always cook porridge. and now when im sick, where do i go? dennys again. man, to hell with dennys.

i have a very bad sorethroat plus flue. sneezing is very painful, cause it makes my throat hurt. went to watch, into the blue by jessica alba and paulwalker. the show was kinda crappy, but no doubt jessica alba have one of the hottest body in the world. her abs just make the world goes wow.
everytime i check my bank account, the money is always depleting. its so sad, haha and yes its due to online shopping. i shall shop after thanks giving, i feel like getting some abercrombie and hollister, but their design just isnt my type. haha, their largest size is just XL. and i cant fit into XL. well. shopping is bad for health, no doubt. cause it burns your pocket.

today the indonesians were kinda like fighting with the hongkies. rather, the hongkong people confronted the indonesians, its either way round. why? haha all for a girl. fighting for a girl, till one of them got arrested by the cops. man, this place is getting more and more chaotic. its not that i detest hongkong people, but it seems to me that i never HAD a good impression of any hongkong people. especially when they start speaking cantonese, it just makes me wanna puke.
i shall go rest now, and good luck to the singaporeans out there having promos. haha.